So I'm gonna preface this post by saying fuck you. No reason. Also I hand wrote this after writing about 8 others. Fuck you again.
13. "At that report I slung the hefty bronze blade of my silver studded sword around my shoulder, slung my bow on too..." From "The Odyssey" by Homer. Book X, Norton p.321, line 287. Odysseus about to rescue his friends that are being turned into pigs.
The more I read different translations of Homer's epics, Gilgamesh, creation myths, and the like, the more I realize how unoriginal most action movies are. In this scene, I imagine Sean Connery, possibly smoking a pipe, standing outside an abandoned warehouse waiting for an informant...
HE BUSTS OUT!
"Boss! They turned Steve and Bill and Marco into fucking PIGS!" He screams wildly.
Sean, "The Od Man" Connery tamps his pipe clean on his bare forehead. "Come on you fuzzy little man peach," he says in a strangely coarse Scottish accent as he slings his machete and assault rifle over his shoulder, "We're going in."
"But Od-Man, I can't!" Whimpers Wesley the man peach, "That strung-out bitch is gonna porkify me!"
"What a pussy. "Looks like I'm gonna have to take care of this myself." He lights a cigar and inhales the harsh smoke without flinching, "that bitch thinks she can fuck with MY men?! Ill show her what's what." His machete shimmers in the sun as he strides toward the base camp of Circe, the meanest drug lord under Apollo's blazing sun.
You're welcome.
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